Chapter 7
Sept 4, 2010
A day forever to be remembered. The night of September 3, I drove the hour north to West Palm Beach and checked into a dog-friendly hotel, my girl always by my side for the big moments. He would be coming to my room first thing in the morning.
First thing turned out to be 5 am. Great way to see him for the first time in a year. But it didn't matter. We fell into each others' arms like it was the only place we were meant to be and had just been waiting, itching to get there again. Which basically was exactly the case. I know we made love, immediately and fervently. It was never not fervent. We fell back to sleep for a while, then he had to get back to the condo to have breakfast, but we would meet for lunch.
I arrived armed with more handwritten papers. I had recorded all my non-negotiables, what I needed in a partner, what was necessary and what was entirely unacceptable, what so that he could make an informed decision as to whether this-- US-- was something he felt he was up for or not. I also listed things that he had done in the past that had angered or hurt me that I'd never mentioned. Why didn't I, anyway? I think I wanted to be so perfect for him that I held in anything that may have been taken as criticism, essentially selling out my principles-- but now I was ready to stand to them. This promised to be a major lunch, food being the last thing on my mind.
When he showed up, I felt something different about him. Though I had just been with him that morning, it had been all sex and sleeping so I hadn't really noticed (though I couldn't help but appreciate his new, fit, hot body. He was sexier to me than ever, which was saying a lot) In the real world, in the light of day, not blinded by lust... I could tell something had changed with him. His whole... dare I say aura? had shifted. I was enthralled with this person sitting in front of me. Nonetheless, I started in as if this was a board meeting with my minutes from the past 9 years and current situational reports. To everything I presented him with, he agreed. Littering? He seemed truly embarrassed that he ever had. Spitting? "You're right, that was gross of me." He agreed with every point I made and apologized for the things he'd done or said that hurt me, assured me that his intent was never to hurt me, that he was just stupid and thought he was being funny. Now, you may think, of course he's going to say all those things if he wanted me back, but-- please don't roll your eyes-- I could feel that he was sincere. I had an instinctual sense that whatever was just a little bit off before was now in line, and it felt electrifying.
He told me with enthusiasm about this life coach he'd been seeing, Netta, a woman who had consulted with CEOs of huge companies and top executives as well as performed Shamanian healings with smoke and feathers. An older, wizened and soft spoken woman who had, literally, changed his life. Netta's philosophies were a powerful combination; heavy on holistic beliefs and energy work, yet highly worldly, offering sagely practical and stragically sound insight regarding business. Through hours of exercises, practices, energy focusing and meditation, she had allowed him to discover and define his core beliefs and, best of all, begin to live in a way that was aligned with them. It feels silly and naive to say it, but I really felt that he was a new and improved version of the FH I knew, the same guy that I had fallen hopelessly in love with but with some unfamiliar and fascinating traits, and having discarded some of the unattractive old ones. This opportunity felt like none other that we'd had-- or thought we had-- any time before. I had a renewed sense of hope and the overwhelming sense that it really, finally, was our time. Then-- what really convinced me everything was different-- he asked me to join them at the condo for dinner that night... so I could meet his daughter.
First thing turned out to be 5 am. Great way to see him for the first time in a year. But it didn't matter. We fell into each others' arms like it was the only place we were meant to be and had just been waiting, itching to get there again. Which basically was exactly the case. I know we made love, immediately and fervently. It was never not fervent. We fell back to sleep for a while, then he had to get back to the condo to have breakfast, but we would meet for lunch.
I arrived armed with more handwritten papers. I had recorded all my non-negotiables, what I needed in a partner, what was necessary and what was entirely unacceptable, what so that he could make an informed decision as to whether this-- US-- was something he felt he was up for or not. I also listed things that he had done in the past that had angered or hurt me that I'd never mentioned. Why didn't I, anyway? I think I wanted to be so perfect for him that I held in anything that may have been taken as criticism, essentially selling out my principles-- but now I was ready to stand to them. This promised to be a major lunch, food being the last thing on my mind.
When he showed up, I felt something different about him. Though I had just been with him that morning, it had been all sex and sleeping so I hadn't really noticed (though I couldn't help but appreciate his new, fit, hot body. He was sexier to me than ever, which was saying a lot) In the real world, in the light of day, not blinded by lust... I could tell something had changed with him. His whole... dare I say aura? had shifted. I was enthralled with this person sitting in front of me. Nonetheless, I started in as if this was a board meeting with my minutes from the past 9 years and current situational reports. To everything I presented him with, he agreed. Littering? He seemed truly embarrassed that he ever had. Spitting? "You're right, that was gross of me." He agreed with every point I made and apologized for the things he'd done or said that hurt me, assured me that his intent was never to hurt me, that he was just stupid and thought he was being funny. Now, you may think, of course he's going to say all those things if he wanted me back, but-- please don't roll your eyes-- I could feel that he was sincere. I had an instinctual sense that whatever was just a little bit off before was now in line, and it felt electrifying.
He told me with enthusiasm about this life coach he'd been seeing, Netta, a woman who had consulted with CEOs of huge companies and top executives as well as performed Shamanian healings with smoke and feathers. An older, wizened and soft spoken woman who had, literally, changed his life. Netta's philosophies were a powerful combination; heavy on holistic beliefs and energy work, yet highly worldly, offering sagely practical and stragically sound insight regarding business. Through hours of exercises, practices, energy focusing and meditation, she had allowed him to discover and define his core beliefs and, best of all, begin to live in a way that was aligned with them. It feels silly and naive to say it, but I really felt that he was a new and improved version of the FH I knew, the same guy that I had fallen hopelessly in love with but with some unfamiliar and fascinating traits, and having discarded some of the unattractive old ones. This opportunity felt like none other that we'd had-- or thought we had-- any time before. I had a renewed sense of hope and the overwhelming sense that it really, finally, was our time. Then-- what really convinced me everything was different-- he asked me to join them at the condo for dinner that night... so I could meet his daughter.
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